elphies_box | comme argile

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comme argile

comme argile
Key-centric
261 words
So, uh the idea of idols altering themselves to make the fans happy just popped into my head and told me to write, so I did.
I've been a fan of SHINee since their debut, and for people who've been in the fandom since the start, I'm sure we all have noticed how the boys changed during these two years.
I did this in under ten minutes at almost three in the morning.

He is the feminine one, with the sharp cheekbones and almond eyes. He's the umma, the fans say. He's the umma, the girl of the group, simply because feminine-looking Taemin-ah was already the maknae.

Every group needs an umma, the fans insist.

So he cooks, becomes the mother, nervous, prattling and controlling.

He has the high cheekbones, and the doe eyes, and the thin lips. He is not the leader or the maknae. He is not the lead singer, and nobody (especially the fans, God forbid) will ever think he's manly---not now, and certainly not in the next three years. So he is the diva, the beauty, the temptress, the temper, the one everyone is afraid to piss off.

And the fans nod, and scream and squeal, and they love it.

They love him for it.

(Somewhere inside, Kim Kibum is still there, lost, buried under the Key the fans have made. Sometimes he checks on him to see how he's doing. Sometimes he'd see a boy, who used to slide his matchboxes down the stair railings and make model airplanes.
And then he can't quite remember how that feels anymore.
Soon enough, he forgets about Kim Kibum entirely. He was just a face, just a face in old pictures that would sometimes surface on the net.)

Because now he was Key, the umma, the diva, the Almighty.

The fans are happy, content, ecstatic. He's in love with Jonghyun, he's in love with Onew, he's in love with Minho, they would say.

He will be whatever they want him to be.

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Ah I like it, I do. I'm a fan of things stated simply, so the single lines work for me. Making them new 'paragraphs'/lines definitely helps the spacing when I read it. Thumbs up! :D

awww. Kibum. ♥

;A;

sometimes i feel bad when i think the thoughts, when i kinda jokingly follow those generalizations of key. it makes me feel guilty inside (esp. the last line, that made me frown a bit--at myself, i mean). writing like this is needed in this fandom, it kinda...gives an opportunity for us to keep ourselves in check? or something ha ha, idek. (but fangirls will be fangirls, and fandoms will most probably be left the way they are now)

so yeah, the simplicity really caught my eye in this one. i liked it lots. thanks for sharing! 8)

it's so sad that I imagine this to be the truth
beautiful written though

Wow. Wow, this was really really an intense little piece.

Especially, I guess, for someone like me that looooooves to over-analyze and over-think these boys. Especially Key, though.

I remember when I first stepped into the SHINee fandom five months ago and I kept saying to myself that Key was the only one that I couldn't quite "get" (though now, ironically enough, he's pretty much my SHINee bias hahahaha) and that I felt he was such an enigma to me. And this fic pretty much lists all the reasons why I had such conflicting feelings about him at first.

He's the umma, the girl of the group, simply because feminine-looking Taemin-ah was already the maknae.
Sometimes I wonder if it's the angles or the stagelights, because there's times when I think this way too (a-and Taemin is my favorite member, too /flails), but this is so true. For all of them, really, I've had moments where I went, "Ahhh, is this photoshopped...? Makeup...? --Oh, but I can see pores, so..." over a picture and--as strange as it sounds, this reminded me of how much I love the pictures where you can see the imperfections on their faces...because it gives them a sense of humanity that we don't see so often when they're larger-than-life "idols" to us. It's amazing, really...

He is not the lead singer, and nobody (especially the fans, God forbid) will ever think he's manly---not now, and certainly not in the next three years. So he is the diva, the beauty, the temper, the one everyone is afraid to piss off.

And the fans nod, and scream and squeal, and they love it.

They love him for it.

Ouch. Just...ouch. ;X; I'm pretty sure those lines were meant to sting, because...they sure did for me. And it resonates rather strongly, too, with all the times I've looked at Key and went, "You seem really confident, Kibum-ah...but I wonder about you~"

It's...probably just my imagination, but sometimes I get the feeling that immediately after he goes and does something that only Key could get away with (dance to every girlgroup song in existence, fixes his hair/primps/et al, or does just about -anything- that makes people question him if only for a second or two), I'm seeing a rare flicker of something there in his eyes that hints at hidden insecurity; a nagging self-consciousness that he's trying so hard to compensate for, something...

Idk exactly what I was thinking as I read this, honestly. But...it was something like that. (Sorry!! :x) I really hope I'm not killing this comment with my TL;DR thoughts here, either homg ;;;;

A-And THANK YOU for writing this beautiful (although sad...) piece that's gotten me to think about these kind of things again! Really, it's so refreshing to read this kind of fic every once in a while especially when it's written by someone that can really write & convey this kind of thing well. :'))♥

EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ THIS!!! No matter what fandom or bias.
Wow. Total reality check. I feel guilty now.

We as fans sometimes forget that they're human and real and not the characters that we tend to make them out to be. *sigh* It's one of the sad consequences of the idol life.

Seriously, thank you for reminding me to take a step out of my fangirl mindset every once in a while. I love you for writing this. <3

an alternate look at the effects of what we fans do. simple but thought provoking.

this is like a reality check for me.
it makes me realize and think, 'what if this is how key really feels?'
cause really, it's not too far fetched.
i feel guilty nao. D: key should act like how he wants to.

Yep, sounds really true, depressing and stuff, but I still believe that idols are not so pressured as we all think they are. And if Key really cared about his fans so much, it would be somehow osm. But in real life... Well yeah, they work to make us happy in some way, but in the end they never go against themselves. Especially Key. I think the way he is now (I wouldn't even call him feminine, because he doesn't give such a vibe... more like something else, I can't put my finger on it) just proves he doesn't want to dance to someone else's tune.
The piece is good, though, very very good. :P

i feel completely manipulative and dumb right now, lol! but that makes me think...do i like key or kibum...? crud...lol this was amazing, thanks for making me think :P!

<333

why did this make me cry ;__;

beautiful writing btw, the style is absolutely fabulous and it just works. ♥

Which is why this is fan fiction, not an essay of what happens in the idol world XD I wanted to explore what can potentially be happening on the other side, on a deeper level. Because to be honest, unless you're an idol yourself (and even then, it would be an individual, case to case basis), you can't really say for sure that, "But in real life... Well yeah, they work to make us happy in some way, but in the end they never go against themselves." You can't say that with certainty because you don't know them aside from what they show you. :) And that was the whole point of this piece.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

thanks for reading and commenting! ♥

/hands you tissues.

Oh thank you. And thank you for reading and commenting! ♥

Aww, don't feel that way. I wanted to explore what can potentially be happening and I didn't mean to make fans feel bad. And I'm glad this made you think, it fulfilled its purpose :) Thank you for reading and commenting! ♥

Don't feel that way. I just wanted to explore what can potentially be happening on the other side, on a deeper level. Keep in mind this is still fanfiction :) Honestly, I like diva Key, and I of course love Jongkey. They are the cutest best friends ever :)

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Thanks for reading and commenting! ♥

I hope not. I know that there's a part of this that is true (because they do do things to please the fans.), but I really hope it's not to the extent that they lose themselves in the process.

Thanks for reading and commenting! ♥

I'm glad this fic served it's purpose for most you :) I wanted to explore what can potentially be happening on the other side, on a deeper, darker level and you got that, so I'm happy. And don't feel guilty! We can never know how he really is (since we are just fans and spectators) but he looks like he's happy doing what he's doing.

Thank you for reading and commenting! ♥

This fic has fulfilled it's purpose, then. :) Thanks for reading and commenting! ♥

That's the best compliment I could've gotten. :) Thank you for reading and commenting! ♥

Don't feel guilty~ I actually like it when Key's being a diva. XD It's amusing how everyone except Minho doesn't want him to get mad.

That's sweet of you, thank you for meming this!

And thanks for reading and commenting! ♥

but fangirls will be fangirls, and fandoms will most probably be left the way they are now.
I agree with that. It will probably even get crazier as time goes on.
This was written just to explore the darker side of what happens to idols, and you got that, so I'm happy :)

Thanks for reading and commenting! ♥

Can I just say that I enjoyed reading this comment a lot?

Most of this fic was borne out of the subtle changes in Key since they debuted--I've been a fan since the MV for Replay was released (2 days before their actual debut), and all of them have changed significantly, in different ways since then. Key's 'girly-ness' and 'diva' personality has been amplified a whole lot, in comparison to Key when he debuted.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. :) And thank you so much for reading and commenting! ♥

lol I didn't mean to blame the author :) I can see your point, and the piece is great. But I've read the other comments and I just can't really understand those people who say "Oh my god now I see I was wrong when I assumed for a minute he was gay , idols are real people what would they think?? OMG!" It's like... weird, lol. In fact, I used to loathe all kinds of RPS, but when I came into kpop I guess I lost all sense of shame :D So... Come ooooon, people. Unless you say "I KNOW YOU FUCK GUYS" right to his face, he doesn't care. I think.
Whatever. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore :P

this is very sweet ♥
breaks my heart nevertheless, nicely written :3

i like that you explored that, lol /brb thinking :P

jecca, this is why i love you so much okay? ♥ you're the reason why i got into and loved this whole fandom anyway, jonghyun to my key ♥

anyway, this pretty much sums up why i still love and defend key all the time. seriously. i still keep their predebut and yunhanam videos in my iPod to remind me of how Key was before. I still miss that dude i fell in love with. ;___; he's still there only he's more fabulous. Occasionally he comes out though. :) Haha! I become ecstatic when I can spot those moments. 8D

LOL weird comment idek where i'm going. =)) cos my friends always tease that key's fabulously gay (jokingly of course.)---but lol you should've seen their faces when they came over one time and they saw my SHINee photobook---they were ttly spazzing over key's manliness/hotness. 8D

anyway, i feel like there's some truth in what you wrote. lol i feel like it's a reflection or smth on key's personality. (lol overthinking things but hey, you're brilliant that way that i'm overthinking and analyzing this. 8D)

anyway, huh. eh. =)) i haven't been on lj for awhile and lol i decided to check on your comm since you know how much i love your icons.

long comment is long. lol. take care bb ♥

this really made me remember my previous thougths, it's just like this really helps you to find which part of Key is real and wich one is created in your mind by all the videos, fics and stuff you see/read everyday. I often say myself "why people keep on writing fics with a yelling Key, or with a good-at-cooking Key, or with a I-fight-every-day-with-Jjong Key" but everyway I still read those fics, so... am I just letting grow the charater 'Key' in my mind?
and forgetting Kibum? or am I just being too overstated and the thing isn't that big?
The thing is... is it wrong to love diva Key? is it wrong to love JongKey? is it wrong to love umma Key? is it? (because i really do hehe)

Perhaps those are questions with no answers... idk.

But now, after reading this... i'm surely dont wanting to forget who Kibum is, but taking Key and Kibum as one, because at the end, He's Kim KeyBum, the girly guy tha we all love.

really, sweet? o_o
thanks for reading and commenting! <3

I love diva Key, and I obviously love Jongkey enough to make and maintain

jongkeyaday, and I don't see anything wrong with that. :) Sometimes Key in fics gets too exaggerated though--he isn't much of a yeller from what I've seen.

thanks for reading and commenting! <3

Aw. This is kinda sad. It really made me pause again for a second and think about how each of our idols really might feel. :'(

Great piece.

Thank you for reading and commenting! :)

:O wow...I don't want to seem creepy or anything but I just had to comment on your comment
I was wondering if I was the only one that did that! The over-analyzing and over-thinking their (smallest, often more meaningful) actions...and we have the same bias and I understand exactly what you mean when you say you don't 'get' key >_< I can't help but analyze people,I'm not happy with just seeing the surface, I want to know what's beneath it, I want to feel like I really understand that person or atleast understand why they would act a certain way. The other SHINee members arn't so hard to figure out, you can tell that they're just being themselves, but with key...I just don't know >_< sometimes it's like he's showing us a character of someone (almost overly) confident and somewhat of a know-it-all (this fits with the fact that he likes to act, act out little scenes with jjong often(I thought this wasn't too meaninful in the beginning but it is because it means he likes to pretend to be someone else)and also his stagename which he seems to really cling on to)and other times he just really seems to be like that (I'm not doubting that his (brutal) honesty is real and his nagging at others apparently also is real xD). I don't know...it just seems like the way he presents himself on tv is like a caricature (to hide behind it?to get attention?it's clear he understands that if you want to survive in the idol world you need to be acknowledged and remembered(I think that's why he's so sensitive to camera's and why they call him keymera). Or maybe his personality really is like a caricature, and I don't mean this in a bad way, it just means that he just so happens to have all the personality traits that would make him a very different and quirky person. I think maybe it's a combination, it's clear he has a strong sense of who and how he wants to be. Maybe it started as presenting a character but I think he's beginning to slowly morf into it(and not because the fans want it but because of how he himself wants to be, I do think he's one of those that's too hard on themselves and wants to change the things they don't like about themselves). Maybe it's just my inability to understand a personality like his that makes me suspect that he's hiding another personality under there, I've understood this trait of mine and now I can see how maybe it really is just his real self(because a lot of things point towards that direction).
Well uhmm I think I wrote an even longer psycho analysis essay than you xD But seriously I would like to discuss these things with you because most people arn't interested in what's under the surface, they want to think they're just perfect like that but I think it's so much more interesting to know how they got to that point. Anyways I'm just dieing to figure Key out, seriously it's driving me crazy >_<
and to jecca, thanks for writing such an inspirational fic that gets people thinking ^^

I love it. I love the all disturbing feeling that comes from it.

I like that description. Thank you! ♥

This was such a great snippet.

I haven't been a fan since they debuted, but discovered them last year during the summer, so I haven't noticed all the changes since I don't follow them.

But after starting to grow a fondness of them bit by bit, and looking at past things, you can really tell that Key's personality was tweeked, and in a way, became molded to what the media and fans percepts of him. (or maybe this is just me thinking this way?)

But I like this fic a lot, it is a good eye opener in showing that your actions and thoughts can really effect or change a person, whether it be positive or negative.

I'm sorry if this comment seemed a bit odd, it is almost 5:30AM and I haven't sleep @___@

It's not odd at all, you got what I was trying to convey in the short piece. Thank you for commenting <3

I'm not good at English but... I have to comment. :X I just want to hug you, this fic was priceless. I mean... it's short but it contains the exact words to describe him perfectly. I like the sad and cruel taste that you did it. : )

[And you have to take into consideration that I'm not a big fan of Key.]

Thank you, I appreciate you commenting even if you aren't good in English--although from your comment, your English seems really good. :) I'm surprised people are still finding this fic.

Oh golly I should've found this earlier. This piece is amazing; it's comforting to know that fans sometimes do think this way about Key (and idols in general, 'course) cause I'm pretty sure that this fic isn't really just a fic - it could be entirely true. It has an element of bitter truth in it that fans can't help but deny, and in this fic it's kind of a really really confronting reality check that goes BAM in your face even though it's been there all along.
And now I don't know if the boy I see, and the boy we all love so much; which one's Key, which one's Kibum?

(D: now that I read this, it sounds kinda blergh. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't get a thing I just typed BUT JDAKLSD IT MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD, KAY?)

this kinds made me sad but it wasn't far from reality either
i just dun like the fact that we, the fans, can control them like that
;____;
but i like how you share your thoughts about this topic,
such a great snippet /cries
it made me think about something i don't usually think of

I like.
OMFG i've just noticed it's my first comment in LJ lol
Well, I like it a lot, i'm so in love with all the Key-centric fics.

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comme argile

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