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elphies_boxUnexplained Magical Birthday Thing (or, that time Yixing kept stripping whenever somebody said his name)
kris/lay
1748 words; crack
note Happy Birthday, Zhang Yixing ♥ And I am so sorry for this orz. 'Take It Off' requested by anon from here; unbetad and written while cooking and eating breakfast BECAUSE BACON TAKES SO LONG TO FRY AND I GET BORED. cheers.
It was one of those Unexplained Magical Birthday Things. In hindsight, Yixing should’ve been prepared for something like it to happen, especially looking at the precedent from his bandmates. Sehun’s lisp was more pronounced than it had been in years on his birthday, a horrifying thing for a nineteen year old who worked so hard to be rid of it; Jongdae couldn’t stop himself from snarking at everyone during his, even his beloved Joonmyun-hyung, which caused the manager to make him stay home alone; Joonmyun had smiled and bought everyone everything they asked for on his birthday, which put his card through some serious strain especially when Luhan jokingly asked for a small country (well… Yixing thought he was joking).
So he really shouldn’t have been surprised when Luhan woke him up with a pillow to the face, yelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHANG YIXING at him in Mandarin, that he inexplicably found himself removing his tank top.
“Uhm. What.” Luhan said intelligently.
Yixing blinked the sleep from his eyes. “Huh?” It was a bit cold. He looked down and found himself shirtless, his tank clutched in one hand. “What.”
Luhan laughed at him, breaking what would have been an awkward silence. “What were you dreaming about Yixing?”
Yixing blushed, hurriedly putting his top back on. “Nothing.”
“Riiiight. Well, I’ll leave you alone first, you look like you need some me-time. I’m going to get breakfast,” Luhan said, grinning. Yixing threw his pillow back at him, missing and hitting the door, Luhan’s cackles echoing from the corridor.
*
Minseok was at the table with a bowl of cereal when Yixing came in the kitchen. “Happy Birthday,” he said, smiling through tired eyes.
“Thanks, hyung.” Yixing said. Luhan was watching him intently from his seat next to Minseok, a disappointed look on his face.
Yixing thought he heard, ”Damn,I thought greeting him made him strip.” but that was probably just his imagination.
Probably.
He was halfway through his cereal when Sehun walked in the kitchen and grinned brightly at seeing him, “Yixing-hyung!”
Yixing dropped his spoon in his cereal, hands automatically going to his tank top and pulling it off.
“Happy birthday?” Sehun finished, confused.
Minseok frowned. “Yixing, are you okay?”
Yixing reached up and unclasped the necklace he was wearing, setting it on the table next to his tank top, face growing more confused and horrified by the minute. “I… can’t stop it.”
It was then that Kris walked in, bumped into Sehun, mumbled an apology while moving a stunned Sehun out of the way. Then he saw Yixing. “Yixing, what—“
Yixing stood up, eyes wide, hands on his sweatpants.
Kris turned red, from the tips of his ears down to his neck. Luhan started laughing.
*
“Stripping,” their Manager said, looking at Yixing and the rest of the assembled members an hour later. “Really, Yixing, you couldn’t have—“
He stopped, watched as Yixing removed his jacket and tossed it to the floor.
Kris made a sound that was Definitely Not A Whimper. Chanyeol snickered.
Yixing was decked in as many clothes and accessories as he could get away with, without dying from heatstroke.
“Is this really not some kind of joke?” their manager asked weakly, flopping onto the couch. Joonmyun patted his arm comfortingly.
“Don’t worry, hyung.” Jongdae said, slinging an arm around Yixing’s shoulder. “If it’s the same as ours, it’ll be over by tomorrow.”
*
It would’ve been manageable from there but of course The God of Unexplained Magical Birthday Things wouldn’t let it. It got worse. Yixing had to stay home, their manager weary of what would happen if they let him face a front of a crowd of screaming fans. Baekhyun bet he’d be naked the moment he got on stage, while Jongdae disagreed and said he’d be stripping even before they reach the venue. Chanyeol pointed out that he’d probably get naked in the van when they reached the SM building, what with the fans waiting to give him gifts. This point made them all Very, Very, Quiet and then It Was Decided that Yixing would stay home, where it was safe.
Right.
Yixing was reading Weibo messages from his friends in China, the dorm noisy with the other boys preparing to leave for their schedule, when it happened.
*
Yixing peeked around the doorway and grabbed the next person passing by. Which fortunately(?), happened to be Kris.
“Help?” Yixing said, once they were both locked inside his room.
Kris blinked at him, blushed, then looked away. “W-Why don’t you put some clothes on first.”
“I can’t.” Yixing said, pitifully.
Kris frowned, looking at a point above Yixing’s head. “What do you mean, you can’t?”
“I can’t.” Yixing said again, grabbing his boxers from the bed, and trying to put them on. He looked up at a thudding sound, only to find Kris had backed himself into the door, face red.
“What?” Yixing asked.
“Nothing,” Kris gulped.
“Anyway, look!” Yixing said, motioning to himself. Kris closed his eyes, swallowing. “Whenever I try to put something on—“
A beat of silence. “Do you have new magical powers that let you see things with your eyes closed.” Yixing deadpanned.
“Yeah, I got it today?” Kris tried. He got hit in the face with one of Yixing’s shirt for his efforts.
“Well, this is definitely a memorable birthday,” Yixing muttered.
It’s the way he said it that made Kris look at him, the tone of his voice more than his words. Yixing sighed, shoulders dropping. And Kris suddenly felt horribly guilty; here he was, with one of his longest friends who trusted him enough to show that he was sad at how his birthday was turning out--and Kris was too busy trying to not have a boner to help.
Kris took a step closer. And another. Soon he stood right in front of Yixing, one hand coming to rest on the back of Yixing’s neck. He pulled Yixing to him, Yixing’s forehead on his shoulder.
“Sorry.” Kris said.
“What for? You didn’t do this.” Yixing muttered into his jacket.
“That you’re not having the birthday you expected?” Kris tried. He shoved his other hand into his pants pocket to keep it still.
Yixing sighed. “I don’t get why I can’t put on clothes anymore.”
“Uh… maybe people are saying your name, still? Even if you can’t hear it. It’s your birthday after all—the fans must be talking. Maybe this thing gets stronger over time, like how Jongdae wouldn’t shut up after the second hour… and how Joonmyun ended up buying that country by nightfall…” Kris said. He was grasping at straws, too distracted with Yixing. Right. There.
“That actually makes some sense.” Yixing muttered, hands fisting into the lapels of Kris jacket.
They stood there in silence, Yixing breathing into the cotton of Kris’ shirt. Kris ran his fingers through Yixing’s hair, his other hand fisted into his pocket, nails digging into his palm. He reminded himself to breathe in, breathe out.
When Yixing leaned closer, hands closing around Kris’ waist, Kris’ heart went into overdrive.
“Uhm, Yixing?”
“Yeah?”
“You are very, very naked.”
There’s a pause. Kris’ heart was having a one-man parade in his chest, playing everything from the drums, timpani and the bongos.
“….How does one become very, very naked? What’s the difference between that and just plain naked?” Yixing muttered, letting go of Kris' waist and stepping away from him.
“Uh,” Kris said intelligently. His eyes swept over Yixing quickly, then away.
Yixing studied at him, tilting his head to the side. His eyes were slowly getting clearer with understanding. "Oh."
Kris swallowed. Was it his imagination or was the air becoming suffocating? He began to step backwards, towards the door. “I think I’ll just—“
“Stop.” Yixing said.
Kris did.
It was Yixing’s turn to move closer this time, hands fisting around the lapels of Kris’ jacket again. “I think I know the difference,” he said, looking up into Kris’ eyes. “My only question is, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Uhm,” Kris said again. Words. Mouth. Talk. He knew how to do that, right?
Yixing laughed, breath ghosting against Kris’ neck. His dimple appeared for the first time since this fiasco. The marching band in Kris’ chest started up again, this time tenfold.
“If you can’t talk, just show me?” Yixing asked, still smiling up at him.
Kris took a deep breath. That, he can do. He leant down and caught Yixing’s lips with his, hands finally coming up to rest tentatively on Yixing’s waist.
“Happy birthday,” Kris muttered between kisses, Yixing’s hands sliding under his shirt.
“It is now,” Yixing replied, eyes crinkling at the corners. He pulled Kris towards the bed.
*
“I’m cured,” Yixing said, bouncing up to the group, fully clothed in a gray v-neck, blue jacket and jeans.
“No way,” Jongdae said looking over at him. They were gathered in the living room, doing a quick last minute check for their belongings and a last bathroom break before leaving.
“Yixing. Yixing Yixing Yixing.” Luhan tried. Yixing remained clothed. “Awww.”
Yixing stuck his tongue out at him.
“That’s good! Then we can all go today.” Joonmyun said, smiling at Yixing. “Your fans will be really happy.”
“Wait, how did it happen? Everyone else couldn’t stop until their birthday ended. What did you do?” Jongin asked.
Kris came into the room, hair mussed. He closed the door to Yixing and Luhan’s room behind him.
Everyone turned to look at him.
Kris paused, his hand still on the doorknob. His ears turned red.
As one, the group looked at Yixing.
Yixing kept his JPG face on.
“Oh my god,” Baekhyun said.
Chanyeol started whooping and laughing, like he was the fourth Lion King hyena.
“What?” Joonmyun asked, confused frown on his face.
“Oh that is genius WHY DIDN’T WE TRY THAT?” Jongdae said, turning to face Joonmyun with his arms flailing.
“Try what?” Sehun demanded. God his hyungs were all crazy. Jongin looked like he regretted asking.
Luhan had fallen off the sofa, tears at the corners of his eyes from laughing too hard.
“They don’t pay me enough for this,” Yixing heard their manager mutter before he opened the door and shooed them out of the dorm.
Yixing grinned, falling into step beside a still red Kris. He linked their fingers together. Kris gave him a small smile, squeezing his hand. Yup, this was definitely turning out to be a very memorable birthday.
--
yixing i love you and i'm sorry
i make strange life decisions
kris/lay
1748 words; crack
note Happy Birthday, Zhang Yixing ♥ And I am so sorry for this orz. 'Take It Off' requested by anon from here; unbetad and written while cooking and eating breakfast BECAUSE BACON TAKES SO LONG TO FRY AND I GET BORED. cheers.
It was one of those Unexplained Magical Birthday Things. In hindsight, Yixing should’ve been prepared for something like it to happen, especially looking at the precedent from his bandmates. Sehun’s lisp was more pronounced than it had been in years on his birthday, a horrifying thing for a nineteen year old who worked so hard to be rid of it; Jongdae couldn’t stop himself from snarking at everyone during his, even his beloved Joonmyun-hyung, which caused the manager to make him stay home alone; Joonmyun had smiled and bought everyone everything they asked for on his birthday, which put his card through some serious strain especially when Luhan jokingly asked for a small country (well… Yixing thought he was joking).
So he really shouldn’t have been surprised when Luhan woke him up with a pillow to the face, yelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHANG YIXING at him in Mandarin, that he inexplicably found himself removing his tank top.
“Uhm. What.” Luhan said intelligently.
Yixing blinked the sleep from his eyes. “Huh?” It was a bit cold. He looked down and found himself shirtless, his tank clutched in one hand. “What.”
Luhan laughed at him, breaking what would have been an awkward silence. “What were you dreaming about Yixing?”
Yixing blushed, hurriedly putting his top back on. “Nothing.”
“Riiiight. Well, I’ll leave you alone first, you look like you need some me-time. I’m going to get breakfast,” Luhan said, grinning. Yixing threw his pillow back at him, missing and hitting the door, Luhan’s cackles echoing from the corridor.
*
Minseok was at the table with a bowl of cereal when Yixing came in the kitchen. “Happy Birthday,” he said, smiling through tired eyes.
“Thanks, hyung.” Yixing said. Luhan was watching him intently from his seat next to Minseok, a disappointed look on his face.
Yixing thought he heard, ”Damn,I thought greeting him made him strip.” but that was probably just his imagination.
Probably.
He was halfway through his cereal when Sehun walked in the kitchen and grinned brightly at seeing him, “Yixing-hyung!”
Yixing dropped his spoon in his cereal, hands automatically going to his tank top and pulling it off.
“Happy birthday?” Sehun finished, confused.
Minseok frowned. “Yixing, are you okay?”
Yixing reached up and unclasped the necklace he was wearing, setting it on the table next to his tank top, face growing more confused and horrified by the minute. “I… can’t stop it.”
It was then that Kris walked in, bumped into Sehun, mumbled an apology while moving a stunned Sehun out of the way. Then he saw Yixing. “Yixing, what—“
Yixing stood up, eyes wide, hands on his sweatpants.
Kris turned red, from the tips of his ears down to his neck. Luhan started laughing.
*
“Stripping,” their Manager said, looking at Yixing and the rest of the assembled members an hour later. “Really, Yixing, you couldn’t have—“
He stopped, watched as Yixing removed his jacket and tossed it to the floor.
Kris made a sound that was Definitely Not A Whimper. Chanyeol snickered.
Yixing was decked in as many clothes and accessories as he could get away with, without dying from heatstroke.
“Is this really not some kind of joke?” their manager asked weakly, flopping onto the couch. Joonmyun patted his arm comfortingly.
“Don’t worry, hyung.” Jongdae said, slinging an arm around Yixing’s shoulder. “If it’s the same as ours, it’ll be over by tomorrow.”
*
It would’ve been manageable from there but of course The God of Unexplained Magical Birthday Things wouldn’t let it. It got worse. Yixing had to stay home, their manager weary of what would happen if they let him face a front of a crowd of screaming fans. Baekhyun bet he’d be naked the moment he got on stage, while Jongdae disagreed and said he’d be stripping even before they reach the venue. Chanyeol pointed out that he’d probably get naked in the van when they reached the SM building, what with the fans waiting to give him gifts. This point made them all Very, Very, Quiet and then It Was Decided that Yixing would stay home, where it was safe.
Right.
Yixing was reading Weibo messages from his friends in China, the dorm noisy with the other boys preparing to leave for their schedule, when it happened.
*
Yixing peeked around the doorway and grabbed the next person passing by. Which fortunately(?), happened to be Kris.
“Help?” Yixing said, once they were both locked inside his room.
Kris blinked at him, blushed, then looked away. “W-Why don’t you put some clothes on first.”
“I can’t.” Yixing said, pitifully.
Kris frowned, looking at a point above Yixing’s head. “What do you mean, you can’t?”
“I can’t.” Yixing said again, grabbing his boxers from the bed, and trying to put them on. He looked up at a thudding sound, only to find Kris had backed himself into the door, face red.
“What?” Yixing asked.
“Nothing,” Kris gulped.
“Anyway, look!” Yixing said, motioning to himself. Kris closed his eyes, swallowing. “Whenever I try to put something on—“
A beat of silence. “Do you have new magical powers that let you see things with your eyes closed.” Yixing deadpanned.
“Yeah, I got it today?” Kris tried. He got hit in the face with one of Yixing’s shirt for his efforts.
“Well, this is definitely a memorable birthday,” Yixing muttered.
It’s the way he said it that made Kris look at him, the tone of his voice more than his words. Yixing sighed, shoulders dropping. And Kris suddenly felt horribly guilty; here he was, with one of his longest friends who trusted him enough to show that he was sad at how his birthday was turning out--and Kris was too busy trying to not have a boner to help.
Kris took a step closer. And another. Soon he stood right in front of Yixing, one hand coming to rest on the back of Yixing’s neck. He pulled Yixing to him, Yixing’s forehead on his shoulder.
“Sorry.” Kris said.
“What for? You didn’t do this.” Yixing muttered into his jacket.
“That you’re not having the birthday you expected?” Kris tried. He shoved his other hand into his pants pocket to keep it still.
Yixing sighed. “I don’t get why I can’t put on clothes anymore.”
“Uh… maybe people are saying your name, still? Even if you can’t hear it. It’s your birthday after all—the fans must be talking. Maybe this thing gets stronger over time, like how Jongdae wouldn’t shut up after the second hour… and how Joonmyun ended up buying that country by nightfall…” Kris said. He was grasping at straws, too distracted with Yixing. Right. There.
“That actually makes some sense.” Yixing muttered, hands fisting into the lapels of Kris jacket.
They stood there in silence, Yixing breathing into the cotton of Kris’ shirt. Kris ran his fingers through Yixing’s hair, his other hand fisted into his pocket, nails digging into his palm. He reminded himself to breathe in, breathe out.
When Yixing leaned closer, hands closing around Kris’ waist, Kris’ heart went into overdrive.
“Uhm, Yixing?”
“Yeah?”
“You are very, very naked.”
There’s a pause. Kris’ heart was having a one-man parade in his chest, playing everything from the drums, timpani and the bongos.
“….How does one become very, very naked? What’s the difference between that and just plain naked?” Yixing muttered, letting go of Kris' waist and stepping away from him.
“Uh,” Kris said intelligently. His eyes swept over Yixing quickly, then away.
Yixing studied at him, tilting his head to the side. His eyes were slowly getting clearer with understanding. "Oh."
Kris swallowed. Was it his imagination or was the air becoming suffocating? He began to step backwards, towards the door. “I think I’ll just—“
“Stop.” Yixing said.
Kris did.
It was Yixing’s turn to move closer this time, hands fisting around the lapels of Kris’ jacket again. “I think I know the difference,” he said, looking up into Kris’ eyes. “My only question is, why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“Uhm,” Kris said again. Words. Mouth. Talk. He knew how to do that, right?
Yixing laughed, breath ghosting against Kris’ neck. His dimple appeared for the first time since this fiasco. The marching band in Kris’ chest started up again, this time tenfold.
“If you can’t talk, just show me?” Yixing asked, still smiling up at him.
Kris took a deep breath. That, he can do. He leant down and caught Yixing’s lips with his, hands finally coming up to rest tentatively on Yixing’s waist.
“Happy birthday,” Kris muttered between kisses, Yixing’s hands sliding under his shirt.
“It is now,” Yixing replied, eyes crinkling at the corners. He pulled Kris towards the bed.
*
“I’m cured,” Yixing said, bouncing up to the group, fully clothed in a gray v-neck, blue jacket and jeans.
“No way,” Jongdae said looking over at him. They were gathered in the living room, doing a quick last minute check for their belongings and a last bathroom break before leaving.
“Yixing. Yixing Yixing Yixing.” Luhan tried. Yixing remained clothed. “Awww.”
Yixing stuck his tongue out at him.
“That’s good! Then we can all go today.” Joonmyun said, smiling at Yixing. “Your fans will be really happy.”
“Wait, how did it happen? Everyone else couldn’t stop until their birthday ended. What did you do?” Jongin asked.
Kris came into the room, hair mussed. He closed the door to Yixing and Luhan’s room behind him.
Everyone turned to look at him.
Kris paused, his hand still on the doorknob. His ears turned red.
As one, the group looked at Yixing.
Yixing kept his JPG face on.
“Oh my god,” Baekhyun said.
Chanyeol started whooping and laughing, like he was the fourth Lion King hyena.
“What?” Joonmyun asked, confused frown on his face.
“Oh that is genius WHY DIDN’T WE TRY THAT?” Jongdae said, turning to face Joonmyun with his arms flailing.
“Try what?” Sehun demanded. God his hyungs were all crazy. Jongin looked like he regretted asking.
Luhan had fallen off the sofa, tears at the corners of his eyes from laughing too hard.
“They don’t pay me enough for this,” Yixing heard their manager mutter before he opened the door and shooed them out of the dorm.
Yixing grinned, falling into step beside a still red Kris. He linked their fingers together. Kris gave him a small smile, squeezing his hand. Yup, this was definitely turning out to be a very memorable birthday.
--
yixing i love you and i'm sorry
i make strange life decisions
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 04:37 am (UTC)/disappears to puke rainbows and kitties and fluff
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Date: 2013-10-07 11:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 10:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 10:57 am (UTC)also this line "Chanyeol started whooping and laughing, like he was the fourth Lion King hyena." slayed me
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 05:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 10:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 11:10 am (UTC)and i just realised i didn't even finish saying 'idiot' before dissolving into a keysmash.... good one
there is so much awesomeness in this fic I just dsknfalksdfnasdf
Luhan so determined to make him strip??? and this: Yixing kept his JPG face on.
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND I HAD TO STIFLE SNICKERS ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT
AND JUNDAE
“Oh that is genius WHY DIDN’T WE TRY THAT?” Jongdae said, turning to face Joonmyun with his arms flailing.
JUNDAE I SEE YOU
also: Words. Mouth. Talk. He knew how to do that, right? flustered!Kris is the best
I do not regret asking for this heh c:
thanks for writing itttt!! :DDDD and sharing hehehe <3
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Date: 2013-10-07 05:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 10:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 05:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 10:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 06:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 11:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 02:23 pm (UTC)SCREAMS
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Date: 2013-10-12 03:41 pm (UTC)(Thanks for reading and commenting!)
no subject
Date: 2013-10-07 04:46 pm (UTC)maybe you should write jongdae and junmyeon retroactively trying this out (yeah idk how that works)
MAN I CANT WAIT TIL KAISOOS BIRTHDAYS
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Date: 2013-10-12 03:45 pm (UTC)thanks for reading and commenting bb!! ♥
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Date: 2013-10-08 02:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-12 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-09 04:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-10-12 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-12-15 08:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-07-03 04:25 pm (UTC)